My whole life, I wondered, “what is so wrong with me that my own dad doesn’t love me or want to be around me?” I know there is an entire sisterhood of us that have this common pain of abandonment because of absent fathers. • I was deeply distrustful of men. There was a continuous ache inside of me that I tried to numb with food. Oscillating between eating too much and eating too little. I tried to protect my heart from feeling the pain of abandonment ever again. I used my tongue like a sword, cutting anyone that stood too closely. • I sought therapy for my anger. I accepted that I am worth loving, I am worth staying for. I am still working through the shadows to find infinite light inside of me. It’s easy to be grateful for the beautiful experiences we have. I would like to challenge you to find gratitude for the demons that you wrestle and the challenges you have faced. • How have you grown through your struggles? Which shadows are you grateful for? • #happyfathersday #shadowwork #trusttheprocess 📸: @outoffocuss
How do you do it? How do you feel sexy in your skin EVEN WHEN IT ROLLS AND FOLDS AND SQUISHES •Give yourself permission to be who you are and still be loved for it •Devote time to cultivating a deeply loving relationship with yourself FIRST •Take pictures of yourself and write cute af captions •Lift up other women, compliment them •Make a list of all the things that make you feel sexiest, this can be wearing certain clothes or lack of clothes, certain songs, self pleasure, running a bath. Then allow yourself to DO THOSE THINGS on the regular I dont care how shitty you feel, how many mistakes you have made, how fat you are, how disordered you are...you have been through so much to get here, to this point. You are worth feeling amazing in your own skin, just as you are, right now. You are sexy. Every inch. YOU ARE A FUCKING GODDESS REGARDLESS OF IF YOU KNOW IT YET OR NOT And i’m here to remind you of that, over and over, any time you forget. 🌻 #iamworthit #youareworthit #youaretheuniverse #bodylove #sizehappy #selfcare #selflove #womenempowerment
Have you ever cheated on someone? It feels scary to admit this to you, but I have. I made some really terrible and messy decisions when I realized I was miserable all the way around. (See yesterday’s post) I was too afraid to leave the safety of the relationship and be on my own. I wouldn’t suggest that anyone go about things in this way. It wasn’t fair. I did learn a lot about myself in this time, and through the guy that I was hooking up with, my blog was born. He is the one that gave me the idea. The Universe truly has our best interests in mind, even when we are doing a really great job at making a huge mess of things. There is beauty in all things, in all experiences, if you look closely. I’m not perfect. And that’s ok. You don’t have to be either. You are worth your confusion. You are worth your imperfections. You are worth your mistakes. You are worth loving. #happy #girl
I graduated high school, I went to college, I got a degree. After graduating college, I started looking for jobs. There weren’t many, really, here in West Virginia. There definitely weren’t any that had to do with my degree. I finally accepted a job as a bank teller, eventually changing paths in banking to work in a collections department. I was pretty bored with my life, so I started to look for someone to sleep around with and entertain me at work. (There is a lot wrong with this, by the way, don’t do this to people unless they are aware of your true intentions) I ended up staying in a relationship with one of my coworkers at the time. He didn’t check a lot of my usual boyfriend boxes, but I thought maybe that was a sign that things would be different. As time went on, I realized how deeply unhappy I was in my career. I dreaded going to work. I was sick about it. I would cry about it. I knew that the work that I was doing every day was so far from my true calling, but I felt so stuck. Mounting student loan debt, a new mortgage, a car that I was still paying on. How could I ever leave my ok-paying job that made me miserable to my core? I had bills to pay. So I stayed. As time went on, I realized how deeply unhappy I was in my relationship. I came to dread the physical part of our relationship, I made up excuses to avoid sex. I spent hours in the gym and on food prep to stay busy. I was sick about it. I would cry about it. I just couldn’t make it work. I felt so stuck. How could I ever break off an engagement? This was the next box that I needed to check. So I stayed. Until I couldn’t stay any more. Story continued in another post, stay tuned my friends…
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About

Hi I’m Kaitlyn. I'm just your "normal" girl from West Virginia. Fitness enthusiast, nerd, vegan foodie and as of now, blogger.

 

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“Everyone deserves vegan donuts and morning sex.”
— Me